I have seen a bunch of people lately who are trying to lose weight or change their body composition. They have a number for how many calories they think they need to eat each day. They could have used an online calculator to get this number. They could have asked someone else how much they eat. Or, they could have just pulled it out of the air.

Each of our bodies has a certain number of calories that they need in order to function. Your Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR) is the amount of calories your body needs to perform all of its functions when you are at rest. This is the minimum number of calories your body needs each day. On top of RMR you add calories for other activities you do during the day including sitting at your desk working, walking around, and working out.

If you want to lose weight, you should consume fewer calories than you expend. . . within reason.  If you want to lose a pound a week, you should eat 500 calories less per day than you take in.

Remember, food is energy. There is a limit to the amount of calories that you reduce. If you reduce the calories too severely, your body will start conserving the food – and energy – that you give it through eating.  One of the ways this happens is when people consistently start eating less than their RMR. When this happens, your body goes into conservation mode. An example will help explain this concept. Sam has  an RMR or 1900 calories and a total of 2800 calories expended throughout the day.  He consumes 1500 calories per day. This means that on a daily basis, Sam has a deficit of 1300 calories.  Since there are about 3500 calories in a pound, Sam should lose 2.6 pounds per week (1300*7/3500=2.6). Sam lost weight at first. But, recently Sam hasn’t lost any weight in weeks. He is frustrated. Very frustrated. What is going wrong?

What is wrong is that his body is saying “Sam is only going to give me 1500 calories but ask me to do 2800 calories of work. I’m going to start slowing all my metabolic processes down so I can conserve the calories he does give me.”

When I have clients like this, I explain this to them and explain that they have to eat more. Yes, eat more. In these instances you have to eat more to lose weight. It may take some time for your body to realize that you are going to fuel it properly. It may decide to put on some weight at first. Once your body trusts that you are going to fuel it properly, you will start losing weight again.

I know it seems counterintuitive to eat more to lose weight, but if you have drastically reduced your calorie intake and are not losing weight, ask yourself if perhaps you have cut your intake too much.

If you want to know how many calories your body needs, you can get an estimate using some calculations (I have a blog on how to do that here). You can get your RMR  measured using special equipment called a metabolic cart. There are also the MedGem and the BodyGem.

If you have been trying to lose weight and are stalled, I would encourage you to look at how many calories you need, how many you are taking in, and decide if you have reduced you calories too far.

If you have had success losing by eating more, let me know.

Every body continues in its state of rest, or of uniform motion in a straight line, unless it is compelled to change that state by forces impressed upon it. - Newton’s First Law of Motion, translated from the Principia’s Latin

Believe it or not, Newton’s First Law of Motion can apply to our eating habits. We tend to continue in the same eating habits until something happens that changes them. For example, January 1 is a day that a lot of people start eating healthier – the new year caused them to change their eating habits for the better. For someone who is eating healthy, a loved one gets sick and has a stay in the hospital. They start trying to balance work, visiting the hospital, worry, family, sleep, etc. and healthy eating changes to driving through the fast food window for meals because that is all their is time for and they can’t think of anything else. The force of illness knocked them off their path.

These are two extreme examples. Even a little force impressed upon us can change our eating habits. You have healthy lunches planned for the week. Then, your boss calls and says that you are taking a prospective client out for lunch at the steakhouse – your favorite steakhouse. There is one of those forces to knock you off your path. Stepping on the scale and seeing a larger number than you’d thought can be a force impressed upon you to re-think how you have been eating.

My point is that we all get into habits of eating and we can get knocked off course fairly easily. This happens with all our self-care habits – working out, sleeping, eating well, meditating, taking personal time, etc. However, we can also use the First Law of Motion to our advantage. If you make one better choice like choosing a piece of fruit rather than the huge bagel and cream cheese, you are starting in motion to improve your eating. The next time you eat, that last choice sets you up to make the next one. The force that can change that path may be a sandwich or dessert you really want. But, you can choose to avoid that force and choose to stay on your path. And, if you make a less healthy choice, or one you regret, you get to get yourself back on the path you want at your next eating opportunity.

I’m a visual person. I see this as being on a path and all these balls hurling at me to knock me off of it. I can duck, jump and dodge the balls to stay on my path to a healthy life. As long as I stay on the path, things are good. If one of those balls knocks me off, I know I can get back on and keep going.

If you aren’t on the path you want to be on, what can you do to get on it? If you are but have gotten knocked off by some force, how can you get back on? If you are staying on your path, what tips, tricks, and hits can you share with others?

Hoping you have a great weekend and either get on, get back on, or stay on your path!

Note: The quote at the top came from about.com.

I went to the gym this morning – New Year’s Eve. There was only a handful of people there. What’s up with that? Isn’t the last workout of the year just as important as the first? Why not end the year on a positive note rather than just being glad it is over?

Let’s take a look back at 2010. What are you most proud of? What did you accomplish? What surprised you? What would you have liked to accomplish but did not? What goal did you not meet?

It is just as important to look at your successes as those things that didn’t work out as well. We tend to focus on the negative. But, looking at what went right, what we did well, allows us to give ourselves credit rather than always looking at what we didn’t do well.  It allows us to feel positive about ourselves and our accomplishments – which helps us accomplish more!

Looking at things you didn’t accomplish, take a minute and think about why. Was it because you didn’t plan to achieve it? Was it because of fear? Or, was the time just not right?

Now that we’ve taken stock of 2010, let’s look forward to 2011. What do you want to accomplish? What are you willing to do to accomplish those goals? I’m not a fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I’m a fan of setting goals any time of the year and planning how you are going to achieve those goals. Don’t set a goal unless you are also going to spend time planning how to achieve the goal and coming up with a reward for when you do achieve it. Otherwise, you are just setting yourself up for failure. Here’s a tool to use:

My goal:

In order to achieve this goal, I’m going to:

1)  _______________ by _________(date)

2) _______________ by _________(date)

3) _______________ by _________(date)

Now, put those tasks and dates on your calendar. Finally, finish the following sentence:

When I achieve this goal, I will _______________________.

It is important to write down your goal, how you are going to get there, and how you will reward yourself. Those who have written goals are much more successful than those who do not.

You can start small – “I will eat breakfast three times this week.” Plan for that, and have a reward of, for example, buying yourself a new book when you’ve achieved it. Then, build on that success by planning another one. Each time you achieve one goal, you build your confidence that you can achieve another.

I wish you a 2011 filled with joy, friendship, love, and success. Now, it is up to you to set, plan for, and achieve your goals!

In this crazy busy season, it is important to take time to enjoy – no relish – each day. I can hear you saying “Enjoy! Relish! You are crazy! Too many things to do. Too much shopping, cooking, wrapping! I’m busy trying to keep all my relatives and kids from fighting! Enjoy the day?!?!??”

Yes, things are crazy and busy. But, there will only be ONE 2010 holiday season. I would suggest that you take a minute or two out of each day, sit down, take a deep breath, let it out slowly and clear your mind. Take a look around you and see what is going on. Do it as a third party observer – one outside the situations and hustle bustle. Find something to smile about – even if it is just that everyone will be gone in a couple of days.

This is also a time of special foods. Foods that we only get once a year. When you get one of those favorite dishes, take a minute and relish it mindfully. Look at it – take a snapshot in your mind. Smell it. When you put it in your mouth, notice the textures and how they change as you eat it. Think about all that went into making it and putting it on the table for you. Not just the making but all the way back to the production of the grain, chocolate, coffee, etc. Take your time relishing that food. You could turn this into a family affair. Have each person choose their favorite item and go around the table describing what they like most about it – and talk about how it looks, smells, feels as you cut it with your fork and in your mouth, how it tastes and how the taste changes. Rather than just shoveling in the food and not tasting it, have everyone slow for a minute and enjoy the bounty on the table.

You can do these things any time of year. Relish every day, every week, every month, every year. We only get each day once, why not relish it?

I wish you and yours a holiday season filled with love, joy, happiness, and fun!

When we are trying to change a habit or behavior, and we think about doing something new, we often think, “yeah, but I always. . . ” and fill in the blank. “I always lose my control at buffets.” “I always have to eat three cookies at the company lunch.” “I always give up my exercise routine after a couple of weeks.” And then, what “I always” do is what you continue to do.

Let me as you a question. Are you the same person you were when you were 5? No, you are not that person anymore. You have grown physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? Again, no, you are not that person anymore. You have learned things, seen things, met new people, said goodbye to others in the past 10 years.

Are you the same person you were last year? Nope. You are not that person anymore either. You have grown and changed over the last year so you know more now than you did last year.

So, if you are not the same person now that you were last year, last month, even last week, why do we sabotage our efforts at change by saying “I always. . . .” and focusing on what we used to do in the past.

From now on, when you are faced with a challenge in maintaining a new behavior or habit, you can say “I used to. .. . ., but now I. . .  ” For example, “I used to always lose my control at buffets, but now I know I can get a few small servings on one plate and be satisfied.” “I used to always have three cookies at the company lunch, but now I’ll have some fruit or yogurt.” “I used to always give up my exercise routine after a couple of weeks, but now I keep working out because of how good it makes me feel.”

How exciting to think that tomorrow you will know more than you do today. You will be a different person next week than you are today. Do you want to be the person that says “I always. . . ” or the person who thinks “but now I. . . .”

One of my favorite quotes is from the movie Men in Black to ponder:

I write a weekly newsletter primarily about nutrition topics and, on occasion, other things. I’m re-printing last week’s newsletter here because it is an important issue. If you would like to subscribe to my weekly newsletter, go to www.eatingforperformance.com, enter your email in the box, and reply to the confirmation email. The archive can be found here.

Enjoy!

We encounter so many numbers in our daily lives. Speed limits, serving sizes, weight, and . . .clothing sizes. Clothes shopping is one of my least favorite activities. Clothing manufacturers do not make clothes to fit my body. And, different stores and different lines seem to enjoy randomly assigning sizes to clothing. In one store I may be a 6 and in another a 12. And, let’s not even get into talking about shopping for jeans.

I have finally accepted that the number on the tag is just that – a number. Just like the number that shows up on the scale, it does not determine my self worth. It is not like anyone sees that number and knows my size (unless I wear my shirt inside-out, or they work in the clothing industry). When I try on something that does not fit, rather than starting negative self-talk, I tell myself that it was not made for me. If I have to go up a size, I tell myself that that is not cut right for me and, perhaps a larger size may fit better. I also will go up a size to get one part to fit (hips, for example), then have it tailored.

I have also learned that I cannot expect clothes to fit off-the-rack. I have a great tailor who can make all sorts of adjustments. Neckline too low? Take a little out of the shoulders. I’m also curvy, so I almost always have to have the waist taken in on pants and skirts. If I’m not sure if she can alter something, I will buy it and take it to her for her opinion. If she can’t fit it, I take it back.

Even thought I know all of this, clothes shopping is not on the top of my “fun things to do list.” But, I am getting better at it and learning to enjoy it. Next time you step in that dressing room and what you are trying on does not fit, just tell yourself “that size is just a number, and it was not made for me.” Then, decide if you want a different size or if a tailor can fix what is not fitting just right.

While getting more in touch with my body’s hunger signals and working on mindful eating, I am realizing all the ways I use food other than to fuel my body.  I’m starting a series of emails called “Food Is Not. . . “  This newsletter is Food Is Not . .  A Reward.

I know my clients struggle with using food as a reward.  When I work with them they set goals and then determine a reward for reaching the goal.  However, the reward cannot be food.  Using food as a reward is everywhere in our society.  How many times as a child did you hear “if you’re good, you’ll get a _________” and fill in the blank with “cookie,” “ice cream,” etc.    I think food as a reward starts for a lot of us as children.  Then, it is reinforced as we grow up and as adults.  How many commercials are there with “you deserve a reward, eat our product?”

Food is fuel for our bodies.  Food is what allows our bodies to do all the things we do from walking around, to going for a jog, to playing with your kids or pets, to completing an Ironman.

I’m not saying that food should not be pleasurable.  Food can and should taste good.  But, food should not normally be used as reward for achieving something.  Using food as a reward clouds the relationship between your body’s hunger signals and your mind.  If your mind says, “You’ve finished that job you needed to get done.  Yeah, you’re not really hungry because you ate dinner, but you deserve that ice cream.”  Then, your body is forced to absorb more food than it needs even though it isn’t asking for it.  For most people, this results in weight gain.  Then, eating the ice cream reinforces to your mind that it is OK to eat when you are not hungry.

Next time you are setting a goal or planning a reward, plan a non-food reward.  It is easy to use food as a reward because it is easy, readily available, and usually cheap.  You may find it a bit challenging to decide on a non-food reward.  Honestly, it is something even I struggle with.  However, they are out there.  Sometimes I even decide to use my workouts as a reward.

Also, if you have children, I would encourage you to re-evaluate using food as rewards for them.  Determine if that is behavior you want to reinforce in them or not.

When you come up with a favorite non-food reward, I’d love to hear what it is.

Have you ever been going along everything is going well – work is good, workouts are happening and fun, food is working well – then out of nowhere something happens that throws everything out of kilter.  I can often hear the “THWACK” when my clients talk about what has been happening.  It is like a brick wall popped up and before you can see it you walk (or run) right into it.  Your head is spinning and, often, you are trying to figure out what just happened and where it came from.  That wall could be an illness or injury of your own, the illness or injury of someone else, a job loss, a vacation (yes, even good things can cause a brick wall to appear), school starting or ending. . . anything that causes the routine that has been working for you to get thrown off.

Once we determine what the issue is then we go into “firefighting mode” to fix it or decide how we are going to deal with it long term.  Then, we start dealing.  During this time, some or all of those things we were doing that made us feel so good (working out, eating well, self-care) may fall by the way-side.  We look up one day and realize “when was the last time I worked out?”  Or, “why am I leaving a drive thru with a large burger, humongous fries, and a soda that I have to hold between my legs because it won’t fit in the cup holder?”

During these times it is important to realize that all is not lost.  Those habits you had established are still there, and you can get back into them.  You have done it before, you can do it again.  You may have to do it differently this time depending on why that wall appeared, but you can do it.

We hear it a lot. . .if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others.  It is so true.  Eating right and exercising are both ways of taking care of ourselves.  Next time that wall appears, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and decide on one thing you can do to take care of yourself.  It could be starting to pack a snack each day to have with you.  Or, asking someone to help with a task such as grocery shopping.  Or, asking a friend to take a walk with you or going for a walk by yourself rather than sitting in front of the TV after dinner.  The small things add up.  Starting with something small will build your confidence you can get back on track.  Once that one thing is working, pick something else.  Before you know it, you’ll be back on track.

Those walls are part of life.  Starting small allows you to know that when that next wall appears, you’ll be ready to deal with it.

Do you ever wake up and “feel fat?” I bet most women know what I mean, and a few men as well. I started thinking the other day. . . can we really “feel fat.” I looked up “feel” on dictionary.com and discovered that feel (used as a verb with an object such as fat) means:

• to perceive or examine by touch.
• to have a sensation of (something), other than by sight, hearing, taste, or smell: to feel a toothache.
• to find or pursue (one’s way) by touching, groping, or cautious moves.
• to be or become conscious of.
• to be emotionally affected by: to feel one’s disgrace keenly.
• to experience the effects of: The whole region felt the storm.
• to have a particular sensation or impression of (often used reflexively and usually fol. by an adjunct or complement): to feel oneself slighted.
• to have a general or thorough conviction of; think; believe: I feel he’s guilty.

When looking at the definition for feel, I don’t think we can “feel fat” as an emotion. Yes, you can feel any fat you may have on your body by touching it, but that isn’t the same as “feeling fat.”

We feel emotions – joy, sadness, excitement, fear. I don’t think we can feel “fat” as an emotion. For a lot of people “feeling fat” happens on a day when, for some reason, they are not feeling their best. They wake up groggy, feel bloated from a large dinner or because their GI tract is not happy for some reason. Perhaps they tried on some pants that used to fit but are now a bit tight. The say, “I feel fat today” to identify a reason why they are not feeling good. And, this “feeling fat” makes you feel negatively toward your body.

I’d like to challenge you not to “feel fat” anymore. If you are “feeling fat” ask yourself why? Are you frustrated because you can’t fit into your clothes? Then, you are not feeling fat. You may be feeling sad or frustrated. Are you “feeling fat” because you are, in reality, sad or lonely? I challenge you to identify the feelings you are experiencing rather than putting that negative, unidentified feeling on your body in a negative way. Rather than looking at your body in a negative way, think about all the good things your body allows you to do. Your body allows you to walk, run, cycle, be a friend, be a spouse, be a parent. Your body allows you to smell and taste. Your body is an amazing piece of equipment that deserves to be treated well.

Next time you are “feeling fat” stop yourself and find three positive things about your body. Then, ask yourself what you are really feeling and what you can do to address those deeper feelings.

I realized this week when eating lunch that I was literally shoveling in my food so I could get back to work. I was not tasting my food. I don’t even think I was really chewing more than a couple of times. I felt stressed and rushed. So much to do, so little time to get it all done. When it dawned on me what was going on, I made myself put down the wrap I was eating, chew that bite well, and pause before my next. In fact, I took a deep breath and tried to release a lot of the stress I was feeling. That was when I decided that eating would be a stress-free zone.

Realistically, by rushing what was I saving 5 or 10 minutes? What was it costing me? My mental health and all of the physiological things driven by stress. Was 5 to 10 minutes worth that cost? Not to me.

To make meals a stress-free zone, here is what I have started doing:

• When I’m preparing a meal at home, I try to make it as visually appealing as possible. Remember, we eat first with our eyes.
• Clear everything else off of the table except my beverage, utensils, napkin, and plate.
• When I sit down, take a deep breath, pause, and clear my mind of everything else going on around me and my day. Let all of that go and relax. I visualize all of that stress running off me and onto the floor, then it just evaporates away.
• I look at my plate and enjoy how the food looks.
• Take a bite, set my for down, chew and enjoy the textures and flavors.
• Continue eating. Take a drink between bites and always set my fork down between bites. If you are forking up that next bite, you are thinking about the bite that is coming, not the one you are eating.
• Every few bites, stop and ask “am I satisfied or still hungry?” This helps me listen to my body’s signals and helps keep me from over-eating.

Next time you sit down to a meal, think about making it a stress-free zone. Focus on your food and the act of enjoying it. Then, you can get back to all those other things that need your attention.